Helping our Kids Navigate Grief in a Digital World

There is a new blog post over at Christianity Today’s website that has some helpful thoughts for parents who are looking to help their kids navigate the increasing public world that social media imposes on us, especially as it relates to expressing and understanding grief.

Rudeness as Etiquette (or vice-versa) with Technology

Wired magazine has a great article from a couple of weeks back about how many digital natives (people under the age of 25 that have grown up with technology) consider it rude to leave voicemail messages or call them when you could just text.  Many of the things that older generations consider to be good etiquette are now considered rude by most 12-24 year olds.  Selinger’s article reminds us, however: “Relationships are fragile, and they require effort to preserve. Shortcuts won’t do; you often have to say more than just the essential facts. Viewing personal communication in overly reductive terms makes tenuous connections even more fragile.  Furthermore, appeals for technologically efficient etiquette and my daughter wanting more time to play share something else in common: the selfish desire to dictate the terms of a relationship.”  Often times we are annoyed that someone has interrupted our time with a phone call, but it stems from a selfish (and unbiblical) desire to see time as “ours.”  As parents and educators it is important that we teach our kids that time does not belong to them alone and that we convey our appreciation and love of others when we share our time.

The Friendship Factor

As I started college someone gave me a copy of Alan Loy McGinnis’s book The Friendship Factor.  This book is a great book for Christian parents who want to help teach their kids what it means to be a good friend.  Too often we focus on making sure that our kids have good grades, good self-image and a good reputation, but we neglect to teach them how to make and keep good friends.  If you’re looking for a way to introduce and discuss the topic with your middle or high school-age kids, this book is a great start.

What is the flavor of your relationships?

Thanks to Tim Challies for this link to an article about criticism and encouragement.  Working at a school during 4th quarter I need this reminder.  Affirmation is just as important (if not more so) as correction.  Let me know what you think!

Stop Instagramming Your Perfect Life | RELEVANT Magazine

Here is a great article about the illusion that social media create and the need for Christians to be intentional about creating community rather than facades that make our lives look perfect.  As we are teaching our children how to use the internet wisely we should remind them that the picture they see when they look at other’s lives on the internet is an impartial representation that shows only the things the other person wants us to see.  Real relationships involve the messy stuff as well as the beautiful!

Stop Instagramming Your Perfect Life | RELEVANT Magazine.

Focus Amidst Distraction

Perhaps the side of technology that subverts good study the fastest is the ease with which we can become distracted.  While reading an e-mail we are tempted to check weather, sports scores, Facebook posts, tweets and text messages.  We have news headlines that pop-up along with calendar reminders, to-do lists  and app updates.  Continuous focus on one task seems a herculean task when faced with so many different stimuli.  One professor, however is doing something about it.  Dr. Levy, at the University of Washington, teaches a class called “Information and Contemplation.”  He trains his students to use technology wisely rather than being used by it.  Dr. Levy uses meditation (a lost art in much of the Christian community) to help his students focus their attention at the beginning of each class.  There is a great article at the Chronicle of Higher Education that describes Dr. Levy’s class, philosophy and background.